Summer movie roundup/preview
Word count: 2,800
Inches: 80
By Kyra Kirkwood
Tis the season to be mindlessly viewing movie after movie in the local, air-conditioned cineplex. Thank God. I, for one, live for this time of year when studio execs, eagerly twisting their hands and salivating in anticipation of box-office totals, spew out scores of diamonds and dino dung for us meek viewers to behold.
Take this summer season, for example. More than 120 movies are slated to hit the big screen between now and Labor Day Weekend.
The summer of 2002 has some big hits to live up to. In 2001, six of the top 10 biggest box-officer earners for the entire year were summer releases: the $267 million "Shrek" (No. 3), :Rush Hour 2" (No. 5), "The Mummy Returns" (No. 6), "Pearl Harbor" (No. 7), "Jurassic Park III" (No. 9) and "Planet of the Apes" (No. 10). In all, 19 of last year’s 50 top moneymakers were summer flicks.
Of course, last summer gave birth to many, many sequels. Aside from the ones listed above, we had "American Pie 2," "Hannibal,""Dr. Dolittle 2" and "Scary Movie 2"–all of which made no less than $70 million. There just wasn’t much new material hitting movie theaters in 2001 (perhaps because of the looming writers’ strike?), but the audience didn’t seem to mind. In total, all the sequels alone grossed approximately $1.1 billion. Well, as they say, if it works once, do it again.
This summer, we won’t see the influx of tried-and-true plots and characters, but the few of these that are gracing the screens promise to be huge. I am talking Fat Bastard-size huge, too. We have "Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones," "MIB II," "Stuart Little 2" and "Austin Powers in Goldmember." I bet those three alone will hit the $1.1 billion.
OK, with that teaser, let’s get started on the Summer 2002 Movie Preview. I’ve broken this down into two categories: Top 10 Movies You Must See Because They Will Smash Box-Office Records and Top 10 Possible Sleeper Movies You Must See. So sit back, relax, dream of oily popcorn kernels and enjoy the preview.
TOP 10 MOVIES YOU MUST SEE BECAUSE THEY WILL SMASH BOX-OFFICE RECORDS
(Note: these are in order of opening date, not projected box-office gross, because we all know the "Star Wars" flick is going to bust open the pocketbooks of George Lucas.)
Opens May 3.
Stars Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe.
Why see it? The summer season begins with a bang this weekend with Stan Lee’s comic book creation come to life, with lots of help from computer-graphics nerds. Start the summer off right with a good, old-fashioned, good-vs.-evil showdown, right? Spidey has always been one of the most-loved Marvel heroes, because he was just normal Peter Parker before that supercharged spider took to noshing on him. Now, he can swing from buildings, spin webs, do all sorts of insecty things that help him catch the evil doers of society. Directed by Sam Raimi (of "Evil Dead" fame), "Spider-Man" promises to be big because of the stars and the mass audience appeal. Older folks grew up reading about Spidey; younger kids think anything that swings on a web must be cool. Besides, if your 4-year-old neighbor and your 63-year-old aunt see this flick, you’ll feel pretty lame if you don’t.
Opens May 16.
Stars Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor.
Why see it? Oh please. This is a no-brainer. Who is going to be stupid enough NOT to see this movie? There are a litter of fools right now camping on some curb–as they have been for a month–just waiting to get tickets. I’m not suggesting it’s going to be THAT good. But even if it sucks–and I don’t think it will, because Lucas and the gang have taken the ever-annoying Jar Jar Binks off the main character list–it’s worth seeing and it’s going to make some studio execs stinking rich. In fact, for all of us who grew up watching the "Star Wars" trilogy on the big screen, it’s kind of a sacrilege not to see this newest installment. Look, just go see it. Don’t be lame.
Opens June 7
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ashley Judd, Maggie Smith.
Why see it? Female bonding at its highest. "Steel Magnolias" for the 21st century. I adored the best-selling book written by Rebecca Wells. Granted, the first few pages were Southern belle drivel and stereotypes, but past page 6, I couldn’t put it down. I fell in love with all the characters and their friendship throughout husbands and children and decades. I wanted to be in their circle, or at least be related to a Ya-Ya, that amazing group of Southern women with steel balls and caramel-smooth voices. Now that "Ya-Ya Sisterhood" is a movie peppered with today’s biggest female stars, I can’t wait to see it. In addition, director Callie Khouri (screenwriter for "Thelma and Louise") is sure to make this a major estrogen-fest for those of us yearning to rekindle family and friend relations. Nevertheless, guys–don’t shrug it off. It’s rumored even the testosterone-filled species has enjoyed this movie, too. For the themes of bonding and love, or the hot women portraying the characters?
Opens June 14.
Stars Freddie Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Why see it? The freaky, talking dog, of course. Seriously, it’s one of the few family-ish films out this summer that smacks of blockbuster, so I think it will be the one to sail over the top. Most of us grew up watching "Scooby-Doo" cartoons, complete with the dorky Fred, slutty Daphne, nerdy Thelma, stoned Shaggy and loveable Scoobs. It might be cool to check out their flesh-and-blood (and CG) versions. "The Flintstones," another Hannah-Barbera cartoon-turned-movie stocked with big names, did pretty well on the big screen, so I figure the teen-heartthrob-packed "Scooby" will follow suit. Zoinks!
Opens June 21.
Stars Tom Cruise, Samantha Morton, Colin Farrell.
Why see it? I admit, when I first saw the trailer for this movie, I thought it must be major mid-life crisis time for newly divorced (and newly orthodontisized) Tom Cruise. Lots of flying people, funky "cars," time travel, supercops from Washington D.C. who anticipate crimes in the past and travel back in time to bust the would-be killers. I mean, this whole movie just smelled of hair plugs and Corvettes. Yuck. But then I heard more about it, like how it’s directed by Steven Spielberg and how everyone is keeping mum on the details. Never one to be left out in the dark, I figured I’d have to check out "Minority Report" just to see what all this buzz is about. I am not a huge fan of Cruise, but Spielberg is pretty high on my list of amazing Hollywood players. So wave a cloak of secrecy, throw in lots of big names and some futuristic scenery, and I’m hooked. Damn. I hate it when Hollywood does that.
Opens July 3
Starring: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville (as a two-headed alien).
Why see it? For one, it starts off the Fourth of July weekend with a true bang. For another, it has that guy from MTV’s "Jackass" as well as the original Agents Jay and Kay. And lastly, the first one rocked, so why not give the second one a chance? Smith and Jones have amazing screen chemistry, matching their wits like puzzle pieces. It’s been reported that Boyle plays a cleavage-sporting extraterrestrial and Michael Jackson’s rumored to have a cameo as an undercover Men in Black agent working on the alien affirmative action program. That might be worth the price of admission alone.
Opens: July 19
Starring Harrison Ford, Liam Neeson, Peter Sarsgaard, Joss Ackland.
Why see it? Harrison is back as an ass-kicking action hero, so that’s enough for me to plunk down my $8.50 admission price. Sure, some studio execs think he’s too old to play Jack Ryan in any more Tom Clancy films, but this Indiana Jones is out to prove he still has it in "K-19." Filmed in the underwater eeriness of Universal’s actioner "U-571," "K-19" deals with the Soviet Union’s first nuclear ballistic sub in 1961 that suffered a reactor malfunction in the North Atlantic. Trailers showcase Ford’s sometimes-shaky Russian accent, but hopefully (á la Kevin Costner in "Thirteen Days"), it mellows out as the movie progresses. And rumor has it the action scenes are powerful enough to make audience members forget their own dialect.
Opens July 26
Starring: Mike Myers, Verne Troyer, Seth Green.
Why see it? For Mini Me! Yes, the pint-sized evildoer is back, and villainous as ever. Plus, much of the original cast reports for duty, including Mike Myers’ ever-popular Fat Bastard character, chunky and hairy as ever. Who really cares what the plot is all about, anyway? We’ve got Fat Bastard jokes. We’ve got a mute Mini Me. We’ve got Dr. Evil and all his nastiness. And, drum roll, we’ve got Austin Powers, doing his best to get shagged and save the day. The second "Austin Powers" flick brought in a ton of money, so will the third follow in its footsteps? I don’t see why not. I plan to watch it just to learn more nifty Austin-isms I can use at random. Don’t you still sing the "Baby Back Ribs" tune, or exclaim
Opens Aug. 2
Starring: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin.
Why see it? Yes, it’s an M. Night Shyamalan film. Everyone couldn’t stop talking about this young writer/director after his "Sixth Sense." After "Unbreakable," I couldn’t stop thinking how overrated he was. But his newest flick shows promise. This supernatural thriller deals with crop circles, aliens and the unexplained mysteries of the universe–and no comic-book good vs. evil conflicts or kids seeing dead people. Moviegoers like Shyamalan’s work, so I am betting they’ll give his latest soiree into the big screen a shot. Add to that Mel Gibson’s starring role, and "Signs" has major potential.
10. "Full Frontal"
Opens Aug. 2
Starring: Julia Roberts (with a terrible haircut), Blair Underwood, Brad Pitt, David Duchovny
Why see it? The all-star cast. Directed by Steven Soderbergh, "Full Frontal" was shot for $2 million in three weeks using hand-held video. He filmed one plot, in reality-style footage, following the actors (in character) for 24 hours as they deal with L.A. and their lives. Sounds experimental, refreshing. This summer’s slate is full of massive computer animation, big explosions and larger-than-life characters. I think by August, audiences will be hungry for some reality studies, some tangible characters and scenes.
TOP 10 POSSIBLE SLEEPER MOVIES TO SEE
Opens May 10
Starring Richard Gere, Diane Lane, Oliver Martinez.
Why see it? Because it’s a "Fatal Attraction" for men. Sort of. A suburban mom cheats on her husband with a hot bookseller (so we see lots of steamy action), and the mealy-mouse hubby is left figuring out what to do next. What a nice way to start off the summer: sex, scandal and revenge.
Opens May 24
Starring Al Pacino, Hillary Swank, Robin Williams.
Why see it? Three Oscar winners headline. Plus, it looks freakier than hell. I’m curious to see how Mork from Ork reacts as a psychotic killer. Huge names and beautiful scenery populate this tale directed by Christopher Nolan (of "Memento" fame). "Insomnia" is a thinking thriller, not a slasher film, and the caliber of actors in the film can pull it off. Robin Williams is an amazingly complex performer, who rarely fails to produce. We just won’t mention "Patch Adams." Maybe Mork really shines as a brilliant nutcase.
Opens May 24
Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Billy Campbell, Juliet Lewis, Noah Wyle.
Why see it? Girl gets abused, girl runs, girl learns to kick some ass. What "Ya-Ya Sisterhood" did to make women feel warm and fuzzy, "Enough" will do to make women feel empowered and vicious. Lopez plays an abused wife on the run who tires of the charade, so she learns how to defend herself against her stalking husband. It might smell a big like "Sleeping With the Enemy," but I don’t remember Julia Roberts taking any Middle Eastern fighting lessons so she could whip her spouse’s ass across town.
Opens June 14
Starring Nicolas Cage, Christian Slater, Adam Beach.
Why see it? It’s just the American heroism flick this nation has been craving since Sept. 11. John Woo of "M:I-2" fame directs "Windtalkers," about a W.W.II Navajo code talker and his Marine protector, so we’re almost guaranteed some hot action scenes–such as the one with 280 exploding bombs. The movie has been rumored to boast of a huge budget and a serious, near-weepy storyline. Sounds like a good combo to me. Plus, with Nicolas Cage in the lineup, I’d check it out. Hell, I’d watch him read a grocery list.
Opens June 14
Starring Kieran Culkin, Jena Malone, Jodie Foster, Emile Hirsch.
Why see it? Because it’s weird, and it features comic-obsessed teens, a chain-smoking priest and a peg-legged nun. Kieran and Hirsch play bored, Catholic school boys who create a violent comic book called "The Atomic Trinity," and it gets them in hot water with their holy hierarchy. Is it "Captain Underpants" for the Catholics? Actually, director Peter Care told "Entertainment Weekly" this film is "a ‘Stand By Me’ for the stoner rock set." I was close.
Opens July 12
Starring Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Jude Law.
Why see it? It’s by DreamWorks, which doesn’t produce much of anything except major hits. In addition, it’s got Tom Hanks. Anything he makes is viewer-worthy, even if he’s fat or sporting ill-looking facial hair. This Sam Mendes production (another reason to see it–the "American Beauty" man), is a Depression-era tale of Michael Sullivan, father and Mob hitman who loses his mind seeking revenge for his murdered wife. If it’s anything as deep and gut wrenching as "American Beauty," then this flick may earn Oscar nods for many involved. DreamWorks is big on movie publicity, so will it spend lots shouting the praises of "Perdition" or will it let the big names speak for themselves?
Opens: sometime in July
Starring Robin Williams, Connie Nielsen, Eriq La Salle.
Why see it? More Williams jumping to the dark side. Hell, maybe Mork is a better villain than victim. In this Mark Romanek indie flick, Williams plays mousy Sy the Photo Guy (Seymour Parrish) who becomes obsessed with a family after developing their happy-family photos. Nightmare! For as harassed as Williams was for taking roles in "Patch Adams" and "Jakob the Liar," he’s still THE Robin Williams who knows his acting stuff. Playing a freaky film processor hell-bent on mayhem only proves my point. Besides, people are starting to like this bad-guy image of his.
Opens Aug. 2
Starring Vin Diesel, Samuel L. Jackson, Asia Argento.
Why see it? For Vin, of course. This massive hottie with the voice of a rumbling 18-wheeler is enough to attract every estrogen-filled woman this side of the grave. The movie’s plot will coax in the men. Result: potential blockbuster, guaranteed entertainment. Diesel plays XXX, a nasty, extreme-sports fan who is recruited by the government to use his athletic prowess while working as a spy. That means lots and lots of action scenes. Director Rob Cohen agrees, reporting that Diesel can be seen surfing cars off bridges, dodging helicopters, doing unreal things on a motorcycle. The usual stuff for a spy flick.
Opens Aug. 2
Starring Kieran Culkin, Susan Sarandon, Ryan Phillippe, Claire Danes.
Why see it? It looks just as screwed up as "American Beauty" and "The Royal Tenenbaums," plus it boasts an all-star cast. Culkin plays a teen dealing with old money, his dying–and neurotic–mother, bratty older brother and freaky godfather in this dark comedy inspired by writer/director Burr Steers’ New York childhood. The whole flick just seems bizarre, and I like that in a good black comedy.
10. "Possession"
Opens Aug. 30
Starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Aaron Eckhart, Jeremy Northam.
Why see it? Gwynnie sparkled as the love of William Shakespeare’s life, so hopefully she’ll give us once again a taste of her period-piece brilliance in this film about a couple of modern scholars who unearth evidence of an affair between two 19th century poets. Romance mixed with poetry readings. Might not appeal to all, but with the strength of the actors, I believe "Possession" can deliver.